Worshipping God is something my family always did as I was growing up. There is just something about music that has always captured my imagination and emotions. My brothers, sister, my cousins and myself would sing together just for fun of it because we enjoyed the harmonies. But I never really understood worship when I was a kid. I sort of understood the idea of worshipping God because He is holy and good and righteous. I remember reading about the elders in book of revelation bowing down at the throne in heaven day in and day out in worship. But why would anyone do that? It sound so boring and so religious.
Then, right after high school, I joined a prayer and worship group on Friday evenings at my uncle's house. One of our main purposes in gathering was to connect with Jesus's heart through worship. For the first time in my life something really exploded inside of me. I don't really know how to describe what it is like when you discover what you were made for. For the first time ever I knew why Mary wanted to sit at the feet of Jesus. I knew what David in the Psalms meant when he prayed, "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD." (Psalms 27:4)
This overwhelming desire to love Jesus in this way consumed me. As I sat in the corner of my uncle's living room each week, singing my heart out in worship, I began to get it. I just wanted to be with Jesus all the time. And as I sang and as I prayed, I could feel something shifting. It was like I could almost feel heaven. It was so real. God's presence was there, moving in our words and transforming our hearts. Suddenly I understood why the elders were worshipping at God's throne all the time. It suddenly didn't sound so weird.
Worship became the coolest experience ever in both an emotional and mental way. It was like puzzle pieces just clicking into place. My visible words were attracting Jesus presence. It's like when a really good Apple pie or batch of cookies is baking in the oven. The smell is just that good and it draws you into to the kitchen. The Bible actually says that the prayers of the saints are like sweet incense to Him. I am overwhelmed to think that my words are influencing and impacting the heart of Jesus at level of Him literally turning His face, heart and attention towards me. He desires to listen to me when I speak and loves to speak back. This IS what I was created for.
This place of worship with Jesus has become a home for me. Sometimes I have to fight harder for it than other times. But there is so much power and freedom in singing out to Jesus. When I find myself really struggling with life, there is just something freeing about engaging in a song out of the deepest most raw places of your heart. I think Jesus put something inside of me that longs for Him. I long to be close to Him, to feel the things of His heart. Jesus has given us the most beautiful gift He could give us, the ability to be with Him. Its not religious, its not boring: it is what you and I were created for.