After giving my life to God I was filled with a desire to know Him more. I had done a DTS and I knew that I desperately longed to continue going after God. I had started to experience who He is and learning about Him, but that was just the beginning. I had only scratched the surface of a lifetime with God. I wanted to have a deeper understanding of who God is, to take time diving into the Bible completely focused on God and spending time with Him. I thought it would be so amazing to set aside all my time with no distractions just me and the Bible. I wanted to do a School of Biblical Studies (SBS).
Having time in the DTS to see God for who He really is, not as the figurehead I had grown up with was a step in the right direction. God had started rebuilding my foundations in that time and was asking me to let Him do more. I knew this needed to happen but I had become hesitant to taking the next step. Fears of falling into a religious spirit or losing out on heart knowledge over head knowledge kept me from going after this.
In this time after DTS I staffed various bases and programs. Continuing to seek God but not jumping into what He was asking me. I staffed as a way to actively wait while in reality I was scared to ask God what He wanted me to do. Through this time God remained faithful guiding me to Him along the way. I was becoming aware of all the faults in my beliefs. I saw hole after hole in my understanding of God where I had chosen to ignore the issue and cover it up with the guise of simple faith.
I had stopped having quiet times with God, I was rarely in the Word. Most of the truths I had come to know became stale and less prominent in my mind. The truths I had memorized stopped being so impactful. I started to see that I didn’t really understand the depth of what I had read. The beauty of the Bible had turned into rigid laws lacking God’s heart. I saw the Bible through my eyes and had interpreted it to fit the situations that I was in at the time. That had created a wrong belief system. Though I had a basic understanding of the Bible and who God is, I wasn’t grounded in the truth. I had more questions than answers when it came to what I believe about God and nowhere to turn. My faith in God was there but I had no knowledge or wisdom to defend it. Though we are saved by our faith and trust in God, He has called us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37. God wants us to honor Him with our minds. For me that looked like doing a SBS.
God was asking me to do an SBS. I felt Him lead me to YWAM Grimerud. God got me to Norway and now I’m two months into the school. Though I’ve just started God has already shown me the worth of doing this school. What I thought would be a school focused on studying and academic work has been so much more a school of the heart. God has been shaping and helping me redefine my beliefs. Being able to go through and inductively study the Bible has given me so many insights about God. Seeing His unchanging love through the Old Testament has opened my eyes to who God is. Now I have even more questions but I know how to ask them. Getting these tools to look at and study the Bible has been a life changing experience. No longer do I just have a generic understanding of God but now I’m seeing Him more fully. God does so much in our lives when we are active participants and give Him the time and opportunity.